Presidents and the Politics of Anatomy

Eighteen minutes of audio are missing from a 1972 meeting in the Oval Office between President Richard Nixon and Chief of Staff H. R. Haldeman. The gap has led historians and listeners to speculate about what was said during the encounter. Nixon’s personal secretary, Rose Mary Woods, kept notes that document the physical actions in the room. Her record lists rustling sounds as Haldeman stood to refill his coffee. It does not transcribe the dialogue that occurred during those lost minutes.

The New Yorker details a series of historical incidents where political leaders made remarks about the buttocks of their colleagues. These accounts range from casual observations during transit to ritualized drinking games during Cold War winters. The stories suggest a recurring pattern of informal physical commentary among high-ranking officials.

Joseph Stalin hosted colleagues at his dacha in the birch forest outside Moscow. After dinner, the group would sit by a fire and play a drinking game called Who Has the Best Bum in Moscow. Participants took turns naming who they believed had the shapeliest bottom in the Politburo. Stalin declared the winner by asking where the person had gone to school, citing the University of Perfectly Formed Buttocks. He then laughed, and his colleagues were expected to applaud. The source notes that failure to applaud appropriately resulted in the colleagues being shot.

Abraham Lincoln made comments about Secretary of State William Seward while traveling by train from Washington to Gettysburg. Lincoln was preparing notes for his upcoming speech. Seward, who was sixty-one years old at the time, bent over to retrieve a dropped pencil. Lincoln remarked that he could rest a pitcher of iced tea on Seward's backside, describing it as a muscular bubble. Seward thanked the President. Lincoln then looked out the train window and asked what another way to say eighty-seven years would be.

Charles de Gaulle walked behind his troops through the streets of Paris in 1945 after the Liberation. He spoke to the soldiers in French, stating that the nation owed its freedom and future to the taut, firm buttocks of its brave young men. He urged the troops to go forward on their behinds.

In 1977, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat visited Jerusalem and met with former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir. Sources present at the meeting say the two shook hands. Meir welcomed Sadat in Arabic and then whispered that he had a quite a tuchus. When Sadat smiled in confusion, Meir pointed to his backside. She stated that the Pyramids were not the only things made of stone. The two laughed, though they did not maintain contact after the visit.

The collection of anecdotes highlights a specific type of informal interaction among leaders. These moments are preserved in notes, memories, or historical records. They offer a glimpse into the social dynamics of political power. The physical comments were made in various contexts, from private homes to public streets. The reactions of the recipients ranged from applause to confusion.